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Silk Dress Shirt What's in there? Mr. Fussy owns a collared white shirt monogrammedwith the words "High on Stress," a phrase he spotted in the movie"Revenge of the Nerds." He also possesses two lovely, tailoredsuits, purchased back when you could get a good tailored suit for$500. In more questionable taste, there is also a shirt portraying JohnnyDamon in the center of a Last Supper tableau, surrounded by his2004 Red Sox teammates. "We're Saved!" the shirt declares. Mr. F.also owns a very expensive, 70 percent bamboo, 30 percent organiccotton, T-shirt from jondno, fair trade purveyors of "luxuriouseco-fashion" and of "ecoKashmere." This shirt has never been worn. Who would defile this perfectgarment, by rubbing it against his body? And who has the time toparse the "proper care" instructions? What? No trashion? Trashion is a portmanteau word combining"fashion" and "trash." Here is an example: a $28 dog collar madefrom a "repurposed" silk necktie. That would be trashion for thedog. For the human in your family, there are bracelets made fromrecycled auto parts, and necklaces made from recycled librarycards. As you can imagine, there is considerable overlap betweenthe glamorous worlds of trashion and freecycling, which involvepicking up other people's trash. What to wear? It's enough to drive you fashion crazy. Mr. Fussy'sfavorite guide to the vagaries of the cultural moment, The New YorkTimes's T magazine, has declared that "craziness is all thefashion." Remarking on looks pioneered by troubled youngsters suchas Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, writer Kara Jesella observesthat "unwashed hair, that hallmark of depression, insanity andaddiction, has rarely looked so appealing." Only recently has Mr. Fussy learned about "shapewear," a neologismbehind which, he suspects, lurks the word "girdle." But shapewearis a less constricting word, redolent of "discomfort," which hassupplanted "pain" in the modern lexicon. And "pressure." Dentistslove to say, "You might feel a little pressure." But Mr. Fussy has lost the thread. Shapewear has proven quitepopular for women, and now men are squeezing their swollen waistsinto what no one wants to call male girdles or "mirdles." (Perhapsthey should use the actual word: truss.) Los Angeles designerAndrew Christian has introduced the Flashback Butt LiftingTechnology Boxer, which promises "the perfect bubble butt." Comingsoon: the "Waist Eliminator" from Go Softwear, featuring an elasticwaistband that reaches up to the mid-torso. But will it betransparent? Mr. Fussy hopes so, for fashion's sake.